


A Mask of Gold (hides all deformities)

by kathrynthegreat



Category: Camelot - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-25
Updated: 2011-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:11:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathrynthegreat/pseuds/kathrynthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My take on the morning after. Picks up right where episode 8 left off. A coda I guess is what you'd call it. Many, many thanks to my beta <span class="ljuser ljuser-name_stronghand_85"><a href="http://stronghand-85.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://stronghand-85.livejournal.com/"><b>stronghand_85</b></a></span> for her wonderful use of red ink and glitter. And the title!</p>
    </blockquote>





	A Mask of Gold (hides all deformities)

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the morning after. Picks up right where episode 8 left off. A coda I guess is what you'd call it. Many, many thanks to my beta [](http://stronghand-85.livejournal.com/profile)[**stronghand_85**](http://stronghand-85.livejournal.com/) for her wonderful use of red ink and glitter. And the title!

“I got my head but my head is unraveling  
can’t keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling  
I got my heart but my heart's no good  
you're the only one that's understood

I come along but I don't know where you're taking me  
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me  
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky  
the more I give to you the more I die

and I want you  
and I want you  
and I want to  
and I want you”

  
The Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails

  
By the time Merlin woke in the morning, the switch of Igraine--the _real_ Igraine--with Morgan was complete. How he could be the only one who knew of the imposter was a bit of a mystery to him. Of course, he had the sight and visions as well, but he felt sure that Morgan’s few days of duplicity did not go unnoticed by the other inhabitants of Camelot. He’d been thankful when Arthur and his men formed a hunting party and disappeared into the surrounding wood. It gave Merlin the time and space he needed to handle the situation. Handle _her_.

And then, like so many things that Merlin had been witness to through the ages, it had all gone to hell.

He stood watching over the queen mother while she slept, put to sleep by a draught he had brewed for her himself, dribbled down her throat a few droplets at a time until her face relaxed and her eyes closed. She didn’t say a word, her shock at seeing her own visage being worn like a mask by Morgan left her speechless. By the time he had reached her side, Morgan was gone, her mission accomplished.

Merlin had led Igraine to her room and tucked her into bed, taking notice of her wounds and damage to her dress. He hadn’t spared her much thought once the game with Morgan had begun, believing that she would be safe--even if imprisoned--at Pendragon castle. Obviously, he had been wrong and misjudged the women he was certain had been her captors. It wasn’t the fairer sex who had inflicted these injuries. He was sure of it.

“Sleep now, Igraine.” Merlin pulled the blankets over her shoulders and touched her face. “All will be well when you wake.” He stood up and extinguished the candle by her bedside before he closed the door. The potion she had drunk would keep her in a deep, dreamless sleep for a couple days. It would give her body time to heal and her mind some much needed rest. When she awoke, he would be there to hear her story and help her accept the impossible: that Morgan had disguised herself as her step-mother, and no one had noticed her absence. That this entire ordeal would sound like a flight of fancy or a nightmare, or worse. Like a mad person’s ravings. And the worst part of all: no one would believe her. It was yet another situation that was being thrust upon him that he must fix.

He had two days before he had to deal with it though. Time enough to finish what he had started with Morgan the night before. Merlin walked quickly down the passageway, a plan already forming in his mind.

“Is she okay?” Arthur’s voice cracked and he covered his mouth with his hand, as if physically trying to stop the sound. He had lost so many people he loved already. Merlin didn’t enjoy imparting this news, but found it unavoidable.

He gripped the young king’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “I promise, she will be fine. Only a small sickness. She needs her rest and quiet for the next few days.” Merlin smiled when Arthur’s face cleared of worry. “Have one of the girl’s look in on her a few times a day. I’ll see to her myself when I return.”

“What? Where are you going?” They began to walk together, the slow gait of friends in intimate conversation. The need to make his next move, get on his horse and ride out was taking over his thoughts.

“There is something I need to see to. I’ll be back in a few days time.” Merlin answered nonchalantly.

Arthur’s face lit up and he grinned at his most trusted advisor. “Not another sword? I assure you the last one you brought me is perfect!” He shook his head and slapped Merlin on the back.

“No, nothing like that, I assure you.”

“Well then. Hurry back. We have much to discuss. I’ve had ideas of how to better rule the people and bring them together,” Arthur said with evident pleasure.

“That is why you are the king!” Merlin couldn’t help the smile that crept across his face. “I have to go. See to your mother, remember let her sleep. I’ll be back. Soon.”

\------

Merlin had packed the few items he needed, was mounted on his horse and galloping through the gates before the sun had reached midday in the sky. The need to be on his way had overtaken everything. _Damn you, Morgan._ His heart beat with the sentiment, his blood pumped to it, every thought in his mind was laced with it. _Morgan._

  
He reached the castle right at nightfall, his horse shivering and dripping sweat from the blistering pace of the ride. Once through the gates he took note of the state of disarray, serving maids ran across the open yard and animals roamed unattended. There was no guard at the door and Merlin pushed it aside to find the nun yelling at the dark skinned woman, her voice reaching a higher and higher pitch.

“And you saw _nothing_? A woman in chains does not escape without someone’s help.” The nun pressed her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “It’s too late now; there is little we can do.”

“She attacked the guard. He must not have cried out…”

"Stop making excuses!” She spun around and glowered at the woman. “Go make yourself useful elsewhere. I can’t bear the sight of you.”

The servant lowered her head and walked quietly away, glancing at him briefly as she passed.

“Good evening sister.” Merlin stepped forward out of the shadows, making his presence known. “I’ve come to speak with your mistress.”

“You’ve come at a bad time. Morgan is indisposed and not taking any visitors at this time.” She stood straighter and thrust out her chin, brooking no argument. “You’ll have to leave.”

“Don’t misunderstand me. I am not leaving until I see her, I insist.”

Her stare turned murderous, but she acquiesced, turning on her heel and adjusting her headdress. “You’ll have to forgive us, sir. We’ve had a bit of an upheaval recently.”

“I bet.” He smirked at her and took a seat at the dining table.

“I’ll get her. It may be awhile.” She strode out of the room but stopped short when he spoke.

“You have two minutes.”

Morgan entered a few moments later wearing a thin dressing gown and little else. She walked with support by the older woman, dark circles ringed her eyes and her face looked drawn and pale against the dark tangle of her long hair.

“To what do we-”

“Good evening, Morgan. You look like hell.” He allowed his gaze to settle on her face before turning his attention to the nun. “Leave us now. And see to it that dinner is served. I’m famished from my journey.”

“I don’t know who you think you are that you can go about ordering my servants.” Morgan leveled her eyes at his and pursed her lips. She looked about ready to fall out of her chair.

“I know exactly who I am. Can you say the same?” He leaned back and crossed his arms, waiting for her to challenge him.

Instead she turned to Sybil and nodded. “Do as he says. And see that we aren’t disturbed.”

They ate the simple meal placed before them mostly in silence. Merlin ate heartily, famished from the night before. Morgan consumed her food more slowly, taking careful small bites.

“I prefer this. The quiet, no dancing girls and the only person with a sword in the room is me.” Merlin emptied his wine cup and set it down next to his empty plate.

Morgan wiped her mouth and pushed the remaining food away. “Good. Now you can tell me why you are here.”

Merlin sat back and rested his arms on the table. “You know why I’m here. Did you think your little game of trickery had no consequences?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” She pushed back her chair and stood, leaning against the table for support. “You have to excuse me, I’m very tired and I don’t have time for this.”

“It seems to me this is all you have time for.” He reached beneath his cloak and produced a small metal helmet, made to fit a child’s head. Merlin threw it across the table so that it rolled to a stop directly in front of Morgan. “How many lives will you destroy before you realize that the path you’ve taken leads only to destruction?”

“I don’t know what-” the words died on her lips and her eyes shined with unshed tears. “Leave now! I will not speak of this.”

“I knew it was you before we left this castle, Morgan.” His confession silenced her, but only for a moment.

“I never meant for the boy to die.” She sank back down in her chair and covered her face with her hands. “It was an accident.”

“I know.” Merlin lowered his voice and stared into the fire. “It is a dangerous game we play, you and I. There are consequences.”

“You keep saying that. Why do you care?” She lowered her hands, and revealed Igraine’s face. “The crown will be mine. Nothing will stop me.”

His chair tipped and crashed to the floor, he was beside her and wrenching her up by her arms before she could protest. “Don’t you dare, witch! You show me your face! It’s your eyes I want to see when I reveal everything to you! Change. Back. Now.”

“Don’t touch me!” She shrieked as her face morphed back to her own and she tried to push him away.

Merlin tightened his grip, knowing there would be marks of his touch on her skin come morning and dragged her towards her bedchamber. “How soon you forget, we’ve already touched. But this time it will be all you. You can’t hide from me, Morgan. It doesn’t matter what face you wear.”

“Let go! Guards!” Morgan choked on her words, too weak to fight back properly. No one responded to her call. “Stop. I order you!”

The laugh erupted from his chest before he could contain it, his control was slipping. “Last night you invited me to share your visions, you showed me your dreams, your hopes, and you laid bare your soul.” He forced her into the door and then into the room when he opened it, slamming and locking it behind them. “Now it’s my turn.”

\------

She stood still, almost stoic when he stripped her, pushing the gown down her body and to the floor. With little more than a slight shove she was on the bed before him, arms crossed across her breast, her head turned away.

“Do you remember when you told me you used to fantasize about marrying me when you were a little girl? Is that why you came to my bed?”

He didn’t expect the silent crying that came next, or the shiny tears that slid down her cheeks. It left him undone and uncertain for the first time in years. That she could be both the fiercest enemy of the king and the soft creature that lay in front of him left him weak in the knees. Knowing the future, having a strategy and preparation was how he lived his life. The way his heart raced when he looked at this woman frightened him. Where there was love there was always madness to follow it.

Unable to do anything else, he joined her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. He made shushing noises to settle her and nuzzled her hair, breathing her scent deep into his lungs.

“If you knew it was me and not Igraine, why didn’t you stop me or call me out?” Her breath bloomed warm across his face and he sat up and removed his clothes.

“You still don’t understand, do you?” Merlin clasped her hands and placed them above her head, holding the there until her eyes met his. “You will not stop Arthur. It has taken me lifetimes to set these events in motion. His reign will bring peace and enlightenment to the realm and lead us out of the dark ages.”

Morgan bucked up against him, but he was stronger and held her still. “What makes him so special?”

“I will show you.” And then he was kissing her, gently at first and then with more fervor as he thrust his tongue into her mouth and settled his body over hers. “I will show you _everything_.”

He freed his mind of all its constraints, allowing his thoughts and memories to pour forth without restriction. As he pushed into her body, joining them as one he pressed his forehead to hers. “Open up to me, Morgan. Let me in.”

Her movements were answer enough. She rocked her hips against his, gasping as she spiraled down into the chaos of Merlin’s consciousness. Nothing was held back, the storm of his power crashed through her and she was a part of all his pain, witness to everything he had seen and done for a millennia.

The bed shook from their joining and Morgan cried out her release. “Not yet!” He whispered into her neck. So close. Merlin continued to drive into her body holding nothing back, and felt his control slip.

Later, they dozed side by side, their skin sweat-slicked and cooling in the night air. Morgan’s voice cracked when she spoke, “He is all that matters, then? And the rest of us?”

Merlin traced his fingers in indistinct shapes down her arm, saying nothing. She already knew the answer. Instead he spoke of other things, suddenly weary as if he had fought a great battle. The thought brought a smile to his face, because in all reality he had.

“You have a choice to make.” He swallowed, hearing the click of his throat before he continued. “Send your nun back to a church that will have her. Release your servants. Come back to Camelot with me and together we can protect and guide your brother.”

“Or?” she asked, an eyebrow arched.

“Ask yourself what will happen after you have fed everything to the black wolf. It is forever hungry and it will eat all of you.”

“So the unchangeable man advises me to change?” Morgan rested her head against his chest and he loathed that he couldn’t see her face in that instant. “No. I will not.”

He wasn’t surprised, but the sadness he felt at her words was a new sensation. “We will be enemies then.”

“Do your worst, great sorcerer Merlin.”

“I already have.”

  
He took her again in the morning, while the sunlight filtering through the tapestries was still watery and weak. Morgan was rough while he was gentle. Marking him with her lips and teeth everywhere she could reach. His punishment for the night before, he took it and parted her legs, buried himself deep.

When he left she was asleep. And nothing had changed.


End file.
